It’s easy to look around your house and see when things are out of order. It takes more work to look at Love and see when it is in disorder and cluttered.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” Simple but brilliant, and powerful enough to change your life.
There’s less stress and greater efficiency when your kitchen or garage is organized and you know right where everything is. You don’t have to guess.
Leaving the dishes in the sink consistently, means we’re always faced with a mess and there are no clean dishes when we need them.
The result is chaos. Stress and anxiety begin to take over. Soon, the whole house will be cluttered.
The same thing happens to our lives when Love is in disorder.
The Technology of Love introduces us to the ordered system of Love. Every facet of Love actually has a “proper place” and works in a particular manner. The resulting balance and order work towards eliminating stress, chaos and “clutter” in our behaviors, relationships…and life!
On this journey, to declutter your Love, don’t worry about tackling all the clutter at once. And don’t even think about starting with the worst relationships or messiest situations!
One of our favorite decluttering gurus is Flylady. She discovered that even a monstrously messy house can begin the makeover to an uncluttered, beautiful home, starting with the simple new habit of keeping the kitchen sink clean and shiny. No matter how awful everything else looks…just focus on keeping that sink beautiful and shiny every day. That’s all.
When it comes to decluttering your Love, we recommend taking the same approach. Start out by taking one small step at a time…and you’ll get to the destination.
But before you can begin, you need to know what cluttered Love is and how to identify it.
Love always tends toward building up, creating peace, beauty, order and balance. It works against entropy, based on the Second Law of Thermodynamics; the natural tendency of the universe and all things in it to evolve towards imbalance, chaos and eventual destruction and death. (Remember, this is where science meets Love!)
Love is anti-entropic, tending away from chaos and disorder.
We’re using the word “clutter” to describe any thought, word or deed that is “outside” of Love. These actions are entropic, and always tend toward chaos, anxiety, disorder, imbalance, unhappiness and destruction.
Behaviors or situations where Love is cluttered result in conflict, stress, impatience, fear, defeat, etc. They may cause uncomfortable feelings and awaken emotions such as jealously, revenge, or just plain irritation.
The Bad and the Ugly
There are 10 Negative Action Elements where Love does not occur. They are entropic.
Subjugating (to overpower, force into submission)
Extracting (to obtain or impose using force)
Constraining (to restrain or confine using force)
There are also neutral and negative intensities of Respect and Care, where Love does not occur:
This is all clutter; every bit of it…and you don’t want it! Now that you know what it looks like, it’s time for the next step.
The Bright and Beautiful
There are 10 Positive Action Elements of Love. This is where Love happens! If you’ve been reading our posts you are already familiar with these Elements. Click on this link; Positive Action Elements to download and print a nice list of these ten Elements and their intensities. Put it where you can look at it every day.
You’re going to begin replacing the Negatives with the Positives, starting with one small step at a time.
We’ve found that the best place to start this exercise is with people you don’t even know. You can “practice” and sharpen your “skills” to the point where these actions become second nature…you won’t have to think so hard about it! (You’ll be learning how to Love!)
Choose a neutral setting, a non-threatening environment where you encounter people. Begin practicing Attentiveness, Thanking, Praising and, Encouraging. (If you aren’t sure what these words really mean, take the time to look them up and read our past posts for further explanation.)
While at the grocery store, post office, or other public venue:
*Be attentive to others
*Do you have any opportunity to say ‘thank you?’
*Do you have any opportunity to assist an individual in anyway? (open a door, pick up an item that has fallen, let someone go ahead of you in line, etc….)
*Do you have any opportunity to praise someone? (complimenting is an intensity of Praising: ’I like your tie, what a beautiful ring, cute dog, you’re a fast checker, good job’)…..
*Do you have any opportunity to encourage someone? (Yes, you can, I think you can, go for it, try, I know things will work out OK for you…. )
Do this consistently, every day for the next week. Try to identify the Positive Elements as you use and encounter them. Keep track of your progress. Make a note of how you feel when you ‘practice’ the anti-entropic elements of Love…even at a minimal level. Don’t let a day go by without reflecting on Love’s Ten Positive Elements and taking action!
Right now, take a few minutes in a quiet setting to consider the one small step you’re going to take to begin the task of decluttering your Love…the first step to experiencing and creating a happier life.
Be sure to visit our Facebook page and post your progress, opinions, experiences and comments on this decluttering exercise. Share this information with your friends and families. Keep it light, and have fun!
We welcome and look forward to your comments.
Next Week: Decluttering Your Love, Part 2